Maple-glazed chicken: it’s not me, it’s you

Maple glazed chicken - Food Network photo

Mmmm. (Photo credit: Food Network)

Sometimes when I cook things they come out like crap.  Observe: this seemingly-delicious recipe for maple-glazed chicken from the Food Network.  Looks good, no?  All stylized by professional food photographers and filled with yummy ingredients like maple syrup and fresh fall apples.  It had me at hello.  I bought the ingredients.  I thought about it all day at work… oh the possibilities!  The yumminess!  The satisfaction of making something delicious from scratch!  I left work all excited about my cooking adventure.  I chopped, I stirred, I seasoned, I simmered, and I took a bite… and it was… eh.  What a let-down, Food Network!  Come on, don’t leave a girl hanging like this.  Where are your manners?  GEEZ.

Oh wait, maybe it’s not you, Food Network… maybe it’s me.  Sorry, maybe I should take the blame.  After all, I’m still single at 31, so I’m probably doing something wrong, right?  Right???  Sigh.  But I followed instructions!  I let you watch football when I wanted to watch the Sex and the City movie.  I didn’t complain when you left the toilet seat up.  I even let you stare at my hot friend’s boobs.  Where did I go wrong, Food Network?  What did I do to make you shun me like this?  Let’s see if I can figure it out before I swear off all of your beautifully-photographed recipes forever…

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