I have just emerged from a month-long project at work that was challenging, stressful, and exhausting. I worked for most of the holiday break while everyone else was relaxing, and I finally submitted my project on Friday. To say that this project took a toll on me is an understatement. I’m so glad it’s over.
I’m still struggling quite a bit with my new job, both in terms of the work itself and in maintaining some sort of enjoyable personal life outside of it. The hardest part is dealing with the increased level of stress on a daily basis. Even if I get home from work at a decent time, I’ve been having a really hard time calming down my mind enough to enjoy anything in the evenings. I’ve barely been sewing or, for that matter, doing anything other than zoning out in front of the tv before crashing and falling asleep by 9pm. And I have stress dreams about work every night, ugh.
I’ve been questioning my ability to do several things lately:
- Remain in my current field, which will only get more challenging and more stressful as the years go on.
- Maintain this blog when I can barely manage to carve out any time for creative hobbies.
- Find a new equilibrium in my daily life, something both sustainable and enjoyable. I feel like I lost this on the day of my thesis defense in August and haven’t managed to get it back since.
I keep telling myself that change is difficult, and it’s only been a few months. Pushing yourself to learn new skills and take on more responsibility can be challenging and unpleasant, but how else will you grow if you never push yourself? I’m proud of my progress and, when I step back, I really do enjoy my work. I just have to adjust to this new day-to-day situation.
Today, I feel beaten to a pulp by this last project. Tomorrow, maybe I will feel stronger. Next week, maybe I will feel great! I’ll have to take it one day at a time.
Here’s wishing you all strength and courage in whatever challenging situation you’re currently dealing with. Perhaps we can all find support in each other. 🙂